Highblooded Roots
by Puncore
Summary: A what if universe surrounded by what Gamzee would do if Sgrub never happened and he was sober. Same pre-sgrub events happen but sober Gamzee is OOC because there is no Doc Scratch, Aranea, and other dead characters. Who I will not spoil, but have already offed as maimed. Also I just made this as a short story and won't be doing any other chapters for this later unless bothered.
1. Chapter 1

Your name is GAMZEE MAKARA.

You find yourself spending your time banging your head against a wall in pain to no avail. Hitting it repeatedly to the point that the wall has started to crack from the force your keep applying to it's grey surface. Til finally you knock yourself out once again onto the floor, surrounded by your horns and your pies.

Pies, once upon a time they brought up what you would call the "MiRaClEs Of ThE dOpIeSt KiNd MoThEr FuCkEr." Though lately have given you the most sacrilege of headaches, sweating, and vomiting. Which have been hosting the sickest of drubbings upon your think pan. Leaving you in a state of pain and anger at the sudden lose of paradise. The pies where a lie this whole time, was what you have concluded. They don't stop the pain, no matter how much you consumed and have since then stayed away from consuming them.

Turning your week into hell. You wake up confused and sweating, then you move to place your head in the toilet for the rest of the morning. Emptying even more of it's contents later before you stopped eating the deceitful confectioneries. It got better, you even found a little joy in being able to drink a warm elixir once in a while, but would later be visited by a massive headache.

That would lead you to your now caliginous relationship with your hive's wall. After you wake back up from the previous engagement, you find yourself taking deep breathes before you slowly get up off the floor. Trying your best, you lean against your one sided lover to lookout the window to see the sunset. Mumbling to yourself about miracles and then realizing that your mind seems to have finally chilled the fuck out. You then glance around your hive.

Feeling sad again as you looked around at all the uneaten pies. You know what you needed to do next. Though the action you would take was something you never had thought of since your home was first built. Not even the messiahs could fathom the move you were about to do and what it could entitle for the rest of alternia.

Gamzee: Clean hive.

* * *

The deed was done and you were sure you gave your pies a respectful new home.

Meanwhile...

Dozens of small coast fish mysteriously float up to the top of the ocean, dead.

Enough about the pies now, since your doing better and believe you won't be having anymore headaches. You decide it's time you broke up with your wall. You touch it's flat surface whispering sweet nothings before you break the news. Then after finding out that Wall-E was speechless, you turned your back to the portion of shelter and walked away with nothing but a well hidden tear in your eye.

The affair over, you make your way to your husktop looking over all the messages you had since your unfortunate event. Seeing a lot of messages from Karkat, and Tavros. Along with a few from Kanaya, Terezi, Nepeta, and wow even Equius, talk about rare.

Gamzee: Talk to Karkat first.

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TC: HEY!

TC: bro.

CG: HOLY SHIT YOU FINALLY PICKED UP YOUR FUCKING TOP!

CG: CONGRATS! YOU HAVE A NEW MEMBER TO YOUR CULT NOW, AS I HAVE JUST SEEN A FUCKING MIRACLE.

TC: KARBRO!

TC: are you telling me your totally down to up and kick some of the wicked shit as one of the truest motherfuckers on the planet?

CG: FUCK.

CG: NO.

TC: AW.

TC: honk...

CG: AND BEFORE MY THINK PAN EVEN TRIES TO FUCKING FATHOM THE SHEER AMOUNT BULLSHIT OF WHAT I WOULD EVEN DO IN SUCH A GATHERING OF ELITES.

CG: I HAVE ONE QUESTION.

TC: SHOOT.

TC: bro.

CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU WERE GONE FOR LIKE A FUCKING MONTH! I KNOW THAT FUCKING AROUND IS LIKE ONE OF YOUR MANTRAS AND IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ANYONE IN THE SLIGHTEST IF YOU SPENT THE WHOLE DAY JUST STARING OFF INTO THE ASS PUCKERING VOID. BUT WOULD IT KILL YOU TO GET BACK FROM YOUR MIRACULOUS JOURNEY ONCE IN A WHILE TO TYPE BACK YOU SHIT EATER!

TC: IT'S BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING MONTH?

TC: shit, I'm sorry karbro, I just had so much shit bouncing up and down my head. that I lost track of time during it's wicked bash, which took all the room in my motherfucking pan.

CG: SO IF I'M TO GUESS WHAT THAT MEANT, YOU PRETTY MUCH WERE FUCKING AROUND?

TC: NO! IF I WAS MOTHERFUCKER I WOULD OF HAD ROOM TO MYSELF IN MY FUCKING HEAD!

TC: learn to read, now.

CG: OKAY. OKAY. THEN WHAT CAUSED YOUR SHIT TO HOG UP ALL THE FUCKING ROOM THEN?

TC: THE PIES.

TC: are a lie.

CG: WHAT?

TC: THE MOTHERFUCKING PIES!

TC: are a mother fucking lie! or can you still not read motherfucker!?

CG: YES I CAN FUCKING READ SHIT STAIN, BUT WHY ARE THEY A LIE AGAIN?

TC: AT FIRST IT WAS HARMLESS. ACTUALLY EVERYTHING WAS HARMLESS. NOTHING FELT WRONG AFTER EATING THEM ALL THE TIME.

TC: but then after a while. the harm was back!

TC: LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER, IT WAS BACK! BACK TO COLLECT ALL THE GOOD TIMES AND ROLL OVER A RYDER LIKE A BITCH!

TC: though when the dust settled. i was still standing.

CG: SO YOU GOT SICK FROM EATING SHITTY PIES ALL THE FUCKING TIME RIGHT?

TC: YEP!

TC: honk. :o)

CG: IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, WHICH PROBABLY WON'T. THERE WAS SOME SHIT THAT WENT DOWN WHILE YOU WHERE, SICK, I GUESS?

TC: HONK!

TC: honk.

CG: YA...

CG: SO ANY FUCKING WAY, SHIT HAS HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE. TAVROS IS IN A TWO WHEEL DEVICE NOW, CAUSE OF SOME FUCKING THING BETWEEN HIM AND SERKET. THEN APPROPRIATELY ARADIA TRIED TO PAY HER BACK AND FUCKING SHOCKER, SHE IS NOW DEAD. TEREZI IS COMING UP WITH HER OWN REVENGE PLAN SOON BUT I THINK IT'S GOING TO BACK FIRE AND I WOULD LIKE YOUR HELP IF YOUR EVEN GOOD FOR IT.

TC: WHAT DID THAT BITCH DO TO FUCKING TAVBRO!?

TC: she is soooooooo dead.

CG: SHIT CALM THE FUCK DOWN! HE IS ALRIGHT NOW BUT DON'T GO CHARGING OFF INTO THIS SHIT STORM!

TC: THEN WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO? GET HER A COLD DRINK AND FAN COOL AIR FOR HER?

TC: no, i'm going to pay that motherfucker a visit, whether she knows it, or not.

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You close your husktop and captchalogue it into your mind fuck of a modus. Finding your thoughts for the first time in sweeps you make up your own plan of attack before leaving the hive.

* * *

Your name is VRISKA SERKET.

You have just broken another eight ball this afternoon and find yourself bored. Like stupid bored, you wish you had something to preoccupy your free time with but have found yourself already done with all your plans for today, and over course 'all' the plans.

Stepping through the mess on your floor, which was made up of dice and more broken eight balls. You find yourself leaning back in your chair to see if you had received any new messages. Only to find out once again that the only trolls that seem to give a shit are Terezi and Eridan, but fuck Eridan right now. As you are about to see if you could get a rise out of Pyrope, another troll begins to message you.

Vriska: Reply to Equius.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AG: Hiiiiiiii neighbor.

CT: Unfortunately I can not be solicited for the same greeting.

AG: And why is that?

AG: You never bother to any way.

CT: I am here on orders, not to have a chat about frivolous things with you of all people.

AG: ::::::::(

AG: And here I was waiting with baited breath to hear all about your day, like a good friend would.

CT: Since you have stated that we are such good acquaintances then, I would like to ask you a question. No I demand a answer.

AG: Easy neighbor, you might need a towel.

CT: Did you really kill the lowblood?

AG: Oh that bit of old news?

AG: Yes, she was getting annoying so I had her 'actual' boyfriend take care of her for me.

CT: Give me one second now.

AG: Need a towel?

CT: Yes and to start the third part of my orders.

AG: Orders, orders, and more orders.

AG: Who gave you them?

CT: I was told not to tell you til they were carried out.

AG: Okay then, what were the orders then?

AG: Let me guess, work up a sweat?

CT: One, to tell you I was under orders.

CT: Two, to ask about the fate of the lowblood.

CT: Three, even if you said yes or chose to lie, I would hand him the robot.

CT: Four, keep you busy reading this long enough for him to get into position.

CT: Last, to fix you up when he is done.

As you finished reading the last line confused, you hear what sounds like a rocket heading towards your window.

Gamzee: Make her pay.

A robot crashes through your window, ricocheting off the walls in your room while its metal exterior showed the red painted words, HONK.

Then as the loose automaton angled itself just a couple of feet before you.

It detonates.

 _ROBOSPLODE!_

* * *

Your name is Equius Zahhak.

And you are handed back a makeshift joystick controller into your sweaty palms. "If she lives through this, she will most likely try to exact revenge upon you too."

"Don't worry about it bro, she doesn't even know where the fuck I live." Gamzee replied.

"She has proven to be resourceful enough to get what she is looking for, time and time again sir." You started to wipe your forehead down as new beads of perspiration formed.

The highblood before you be can to lean back and forth on his feet. Almost giving off the air that he was actually considering his options before saying, "Well shit I guess I'll just move then bro."

You find his chose of words to be the most wisest you have ever heard him say. Though you are getting use to all the surprises that have happened tonight. The highblood's visit, inquiring about your feelings on your neighbor, and then telling you about what had happen to Aradia. Needless to say you wouldn't be looking forward to fetching Serket from the ruins of her bedroom.

"Where will you go? If you don't mind me asking sir."

Gamzee puts his hand under his chin before answering back, "You know I haven't thought that far, but maybe I wanna find my custodian, ya know motherfucker?"

You shake your head in agreement. Before seeing that the highblood was already walking out. Chasing after him before he made it to the door you let him know that if he ever needed anything else that you were ready and willing anytime. He looked back at you with a goofy smile before saying, "Don't worry bro, you helped me out."

As you watched him leave you felt that would need another towel.

* * *

Your back to being Gamzee.

Finding yourself back at your hive already. You go around captchalogging what assume are the essentials for such a fucking cool journey. A one wheel device, wicked elixirs, husktop, and a sweet ass poster. Finally equipping a weapon of chose for those down for subjugglation, a pair of juggling clubs of course.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Commentary:** Well I'm just getting this commentary out of the way and there won't be another at the end of this chapter. I have decided I won't do the typing quirks til after I'm done with the story (If I feel like it). Though spell checking before a post is still a thing for me and re-reading the chapter to make it sound cleaner to read, ironically.

* * *

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE.

You have just closed your hive's window for the third time this afternoon. Leaving behind a blue Count Berrybelly to the ever swinging rope of justice. His plan to get away from the grievances that he himself caused with his own pair of cohorts have been dealt with. Leaving behind a impression of ambiguity at how this fate had be fallen him of all individuals! Surely his plans were the most air tight and yet he was careless in his ostentatious attempts to bamboozle his prosecutor. Though it's not his fault that fate has given her both practical and literal insight of mind.

Enough about the ramblings of yet another formly resolved perpetrator. You make your way into your bedroom, the floor is covered in other Scalemates and the finest legal books on the study of BRUTAL ALTERNIAN LAW. You sit at your desk contemplating the proceedings in front of your husktop. After further review, you decide break time is over and it is time once again to think up a plan to punish Vriska.

Ironically before long you are contacted by a very different person of interest.

Terezi: Talk to Karkat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CG: OKAY, I WANT TO JUST STATE IN ADVANCE THAT I HAVE ROYALLY FUCKED WHAT I ASSUME WAS A PREPUBESCENT CHOLAR BEAR BY JABBING THE WOOD DEVICE INTO IT'S PERSONNEL SPACE TIL THE REPEATED OFFENSE SPRANG THE FUCKER AWAKE INTO ATTACKING THE NEAREST FOREST FIEND.

GC: What :?

CG: IT'S ABOUT GAMZEE.

CG: FOR A WHILE HE WAS LIKE IN SUPER FUCKING AFK HIBERNATION BUT THEN HE CAME BACK ONLINE.

GC: That's good, I think?

CG: STFU TILL I'M DONE.

CG: WHILE HE WAS GONE FOR SUCH A FUCKING LONG ASS TIME I WARNED HIM ABOUT WHAT WENT DOWN BETWEEN YOU AND SERKET.

CG: AND LOW AND BE FUCKING HOLD, THE SHIT EATER WENT TO PICK A FIGHT WITH HER. SHE IS PRETTY GLOB DAMN PISSED AND IS LOOKING FOR HIM AS I FUCKING TYPE.

GC: ...

CG: THE FUCK IS WITH THAT RESPONSE?

GC: ...

CG: IT'S FUCKING FINE NOW TO TYPE BACK I'M FUCKING DONE NOW.

GC: Really?

CG: YES.

GC: Really? Really?

CG: UH FUCKING HUH.

GC: Really? Really? Really?

CG: OH MY FUCK! YES, WITH ALL THE UNIVERSAL BITCH SIGNS THAT POINT TO THIS CONVERSATION MOVING INTO THE FUCKING FUTURE!

GC: Sheesh, fine.

GC: Though I have to ask how did he manage to piss her off?

CG: YA THAT RIGHT THERE IS STILL A MINDFUCK WITHIN A MINDFUCK DOING A FUCKING ACROBATIC SOMERSAULT UPON A STAGE OF DEGENERATES.

CG: WHAT I FOUND OUT FROM NEPETA, WAS THAT THE FUCKER WENT TO EQUIUS "BORROWED" ONE OF HIS TIN CANS AND FLEW THE DAMN THING INTO HER ROOM AND HAD IT BLOW UP IN HER FUCKING FACE. THOUGH I GUESS HE PITIED HER ENOUGH TO HAVE THE WALKING SWET LOCKER FIX HER UP AFTER HIS FUCKING STUNT.

CG: AND NOW HERE WE FUCKING ARE. SHE LOOKING FOR HIM, HES FUCKING GONE, AND THE LAST PERSON I THINK WHO CAN ACTUALLY NOT FUCK THIS WHOLE THING UP FURTHER THAN IT ALREADY IS, WAS SCREWING AROUND LIKE A BROKEN RECORD ON BULLSHIT CHAT ETIQUETTE.

GC: Thats the nicest thing you ever said. Wow this is pretty fucking bad.

GC: No problem though, I'll see if I can find him before her!

GC: It'll be fun H3H3H3

CG: BE FUCKING CAREFUL I GOT NEPETA AND SOLLUX LOOKING AROUND FOR HIM TOO.

GC: Ugh your not my custodian but since you asked I will find your clown as fast as possible.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

You scoot your chair away from your desk and lean back in it thinking about this new development. You knew Gamzee was odd enough to do stupid things from time to time, but going through that much trouble just to teach Vriska of all trolls a lesson? Sounds more belligerent in the time you spend thinking about it til three questions pop into your head.

One, who did Vriska hurt or kill that pissed Gamzee off? Based on the news you just read and recounting how she killed your friend, it leaves you wondering if Aradia ever had any sort of relationship with him? No, was the conclusion you came to, they had talked in the past but they were at best acquaintances. Though the other victim, Tavros would still be a very dear friend to the pitiful fool. So talking to Tavros would effectively bring in more information as the case grows.

Two, where did your perpetrator's perpetrator go? He wasn't active for the past few months for some unknown reason and now all of a sudden comes back and does this? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense but you know where Gamzee's hive is after having the great un-pleasure of having to go there one time. You where invited by Nepeta who was there cause of Karkat, who was there cause of Tavros, who was told it was alright to invite people for the first annual slam poetry concert. Needless to say the messy hive and the aroma of sugar was indeed sweet, though you could live without hearing such poetry for the rest of your life.

You will have to visit that abode again to see if it yields new information.

Third and last, you need to decide on what gear you will take. You move around your room looking over your inventory; five scalemates for the road, chalk for outlining any crime scene, and your cane sword, that can poke out more than just a eye. Seeing that you have everything in order you take your husktop too.


End file.
